This birth story is from a brave friend of mine who had two unplanned cesareans. I met her when she hired me as her Doula for her second delivery, she was prepared for this tolac (trial of labour after a cesarean) and we were all very hopeful that she would have a vbac (Vaginal birth after cesarean). We cried together when we knew that she was experiencing uterine rupture and we were headed to the OR. We continued to work together for the next few weeks as I provided weekly postpartum care in her home. We shed more tears together as she worked through the process. I had a chance to serve her, help with meals, dishes and laundry. I walked the dog and got to hold the baby while she bathed and slept so she could get some relief from the emotional and physical pain she was experiencing from her second delivery.
Thank you Ashley for sharing your story.
“When I was 30 I went into labor with my first child. I had recently moved to England and had leaned on the support of strangers and doulas who stepped in to help. I walked the halls of the hospital for hours with little luck in the dilation depart. A volunteer doula joined me and helped me through the pain. After having contractions for the better part of a week then one after another only a minute or so apart I was exhausted, not dilated nearly enough to push and the baby was in distress. My labor was stopped and I was prepped for a csection I had prayed not to have. I remember crying in fear for my first borns safety and for the loss of the birth experience I so desperately wanted. The doctor turned to hug me and reassure me that everything would be ok. My son was born about 10-15 minutes later.
About 2 years later, I was pregnant with my daughter and excited. I did everything I could to avoid another csection. Spinning babies, stretches, doula from the start. I was hopeful that with everything I had learned I could have a successful vbac. My water broke on it’s own this time around conveniently in the middle of the night but no contractions followed. Once admitted to labor and delivery I was given a “whiff” of pitocin to get things going. I spent all day with my doula and husband anxiously awaiting my chance to push the baby out. I eventually dilated and finally got to push only to find out the baby wasn’t budging. I had a sharp pain in my right side that worsened when the epidural was lowered to help with pushing. Eventually I ended up in the OR with a second csection I had tried so hard not to have. My uterus had ruptured and my daughter had had a bowel movement in the womb.
I was super emotional and angry after Olivia was born. You (My doula) experienced some of my crying meltdowns. Olivia didn’t sleep for like the first 6+ weeks from reflux which I’m sure added to the feelings. The week I went back to work I had a meltdown at the computer sitting by myself in the office. Dr Combs’ bubble was green on messenger. I told him I wasn’t ok and I thought I needed help. He immediately called our office number and talked to me (this was kind of a big deal because my number was the wing commanders number and he called without hesitation). He made the arrangements with behavioral health for me to be seen immediately and followed up with me regularly until everything was sorted and I was being seen. I saw a therapist once a week for several months and started taking a low dose of Zoloft. After things started getting I went to seeing the therapist every other week until we pcs’d back to the states.
I struggled with ppa (Postpartum anxiety) and ppd (Postportum depression) pretty bad after my daughters birth. I had to seek help to process my feelings and move forward. It was a long journey down a road I had never planned to be on. There are still days I mourn the birth experiences I didn’t get to have but most days I look back and am thankful for all the people that helped me when I was so far from my family. It’s easier now to talk about my experience and I’ve been able to help a friend who recently went through a tough birth experience.” - Ashley Aviles
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